Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I got inside last night via doggy door
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
