I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Actions speak louder than pants.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
