Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
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