so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
