his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
