Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
