how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
the day after is always just damage control
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
