I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
