So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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