Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
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