Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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