is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
