are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
