I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
