i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
my shit smells like andre
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Randomize
