So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
you would pick up someone in the library
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
