Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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