wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
