And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
