I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
