I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
