How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We are two peas in an std pod
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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