i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
