Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you didnt know i had herpes?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
