Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
