Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
