he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
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