I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
