I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
