i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I am in a vortex of obligation.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
