so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She has the best kind of daddy issues
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
