i jhust puked up my retainher.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize