I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
