Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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