I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
