his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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