I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
