you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
