im drinking this country out of the recession.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
