Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
