You're my little dorito
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
