So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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