Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
