just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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