My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
