just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
