FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
