So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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