We named our party play list daddy issues
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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