hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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